What If I Felt Uncomfortable During Shadowing? Will Schools Judge Me?

What If I Felt Uncomfortable During Shadowing? Will Schools Judge Me?

It’s 9:30 pm. You’re replaying that shadowing day in your head for the 100th time.

The awkward silence in the exam room.
The procedure that made your stomach twist.
The offhand comment the doctor made that didn’t sit right.
The moment you thought, “Wait…do I even belong here?”

And now you’re spiraling:
“If I tell the truth about this in secondaries or interviews, they’ll think I’m not cut out for medicine.”
“If I don’t say anything, I’m lying.”
“If I felt uncomfortable, maybe I’m not ‘doctor material’ and everyone else is fine with this stuff.”

You’re not picturing yourself as the future doctor in a white coat. You’re picturing an admissions committee reading your file and saying, “Wow, this person couldn’t even handle shadowing.”

Let’s take that knot of anxiety and actually pick it apart.

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First: Feeling Uncomfortable Is Normal, Not a Red Flag

You shadowed in a very unnatural situation: you’re standing in the corner of an exam room, trying not to be in the way, trying to look interested, trying to not faint, and also trying to seem like you’re destined to be a physician.

That alone is uncomfortable.

(See also: How Shadowing Actually Influences Committee Decisions on MD Admits for more insights.)

Add on top of that:

• Seeing blood, surgery, or procedures for the first time
• Being around patients in pain, crying, or getting bad news
• Hearing comments from staff that felt insensitive or even inappropriate
• Realizing you didn’t like something you thought you’d love (like the OR, or ED, or pediatrics)

Your brain’s like: “Uh, hello? This feels intense, uncomfortable, maybe even wrong. Are we safe? Are we a terrible person for not liking this?”

Admissions committees know shadowing can be awkward and emotionally jarring. They were once the student in the corner, too. They also know that you’re not supposed to walk into your very first clinical experiences with the emotional resilience of a 10-year attending.

So no, feeling uncomfortable isn’t what schools judge.

The real question they care about is:
What did you do with that discomfort?

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The Fear: “If I Admit This, They’ll Think I Can’t Handle Medicine”

Here’s the anxious script that usually runs:

• “If I say I felt nauseous during surgery, they’ll think I’m too weak.”
• “If I say I felt uneasy about how the physician spoke to a patient, they’ll think I’m judgmental.”
• “If I say I didn’t like shadowing in the ER, they’ll think I can’t handle pressure.”
• “If I admit this made me question medicine at all, they’ll cross me off immediately.”

Underneath all of that is a single, brutal fear:
“I am the only one who didn’t handle it well.”

You’re not.

There are people in med school right now who:

• Almost fainted in their first surgery observation
• Walked out of a code and cried in the bathroom as students
• Hated their first shadowing physician and thought, “If this is what doctors are like, I don’t want this”
• Seriously questioned medicine after seeing end-of-life care for the first time

The difference isn’t that successful applicants never felt uncomfortable.
It’s that they didn’t stop there.

And adcoms know this. They’re not judging the fact that you felt weird or overwhelmed. They’re looking at:

• Did you reflect on why you felt that way?
• Did you seek more experiences, or just shut down?
• Did you use that discomfort to clarify what kind of physician you want to be?

That’s maturity, not weakness.

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Types of Discomfort… and What They Might Actually Mean

Let’s break down the specific “uncomfortable” you might be talking about, because not all discomfort is the same.

1. Physical Discomfort (Nausea, Lightheadedness, Faintness)

You watched a procedure. The room got warm. Your vision blurred. You had to sit down or even leave.

Your brain: “That’s it. I can’t do surgery. I can’t be a doctor. They’re all going to think I’m weak.”

Reality: this is so common it’s almost cliché.
Plenty of actual surgeons fainted or felt sick during their first OR experiences.

Admissions committees will not write you off because:
“At 20 years old, on their very first time seeing a live procedure, they felt faint.”

What matters is:

• Did you tell someone and take care of yourself appropriately?
• Did you reflect: “Is this just my body reacting to something new?”
• Did you avoid all clinical environments after that… or gradually re-expose yourself?

If you ever write or talk about this, framing matters. For example:

“During my first time observing a surgery, I felt unexpectedly lightheaded and had to step out. It was humbling, but it also pushed me to learn my limits, prepare better, and gradually build tolerance. Over time, with more exposure, I was able to stay present and focus less on my own reaction and more on the patient’s experience.”

That doesn’t sound like “I’m too weak for medicine.” It sounds like growth.

2. Emotional Discomfort (Sadness, Guilt, Powerlessness)

Maybe you saw:

• A patient get bad news
• A family fall apart in front of you
• A child in pain
• An elderly patient obviously lonely or scared

And part of you thought: “I don’t know if I can do this. It hurts too much. Am I cut out for this?”

This is actually what you want in a future physician: someone who feels something.

Med schools aren’t judging you for being emotionally affected. If anything, they worry more about people who feel nothing and never question anything.

What they care about is:

• Did this experience deepen your understanding of what medicine really is?
• Did you seek ways to handle those emotions—mentors, reflection, journaling, more experience?
• Did it help clarify your motivation, rather than just scaring you off?

3. Ethical / Professional Discomfort

This is the big scary one. You saw or heard something and thought:

“Is that…okay?”

Maybe:

• The doctor rushed a patient, seemed dismissive, or made a joke that felt wrong
• Someone discussed a patient loudly where others could hear
• You saw a patient’s consent or privacy handled in a way that felt iffy
• The physician spoke about certain patients (by weight, race, socioeconomic status) in a way that made you cringe

Now your head is spinning:
“If I say this out loud, will I sound like I’m attacking doctors?”
“If I don’t mention it, am I ignoring it?”
“Will schools think I’m difficult or judgmental?”

Here’s the thing: admissions committees know not every physician you shadow will be a role model. They’ve worked with those people. They know they exist.

They are not judging you for feeling uneasy. They’re paying attention to:

• Did you use this to refine your idea of the kind of doctor you want to be?
• Did you try to understand context without excusing harmful behavior?
• Did you talk to someone (premed advisor, another physician, mentor) about what you saw?

Telling a story like:

“Shadowing Dr. X showed me aspects of patient interaction that didn’t align with the kind of physician I hope to be. While I respected their clinical skill, I felt uneasy about how quickly visits were ended and how little time was left for patients’ questions. That discomfort pushed me to seek out other clinicians whose practice prioritized communication and shared decision-making, and it helped me clarify the values I want to bring to my own future practice.”

That doesn’t read as “I’m judging doctors.”
It reads as “I noticed something, reflected, and used it to grow.”

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Will Schools Judge Me If I Don’t “Love” Every Shadowing Experience?

You might be terrified that if you ever admit:

• “I didn’t like surgery”
• “The ICU was too intense for me”
• “I felt out of place in the ED”

…then adcoms will stamp you as “not dedicated enough.”

Medicine is huge. You’re not signing up to love every single environment.

They’re not expecting you to say, “I could be equally happy in neurosurgery, psych, ortho, OB, and EM, and I adored every minute.” That’s not real.

Instead, what they want to see is:

• Curiosity: You tried different settings.
• Reflection: You noticed what fit you and what didn’t.
• Persistence: You didn’t run after one bad day.

Saying, “Shadowing in the OR made me realize I’m more drawn to longitudinal relationships than procedural work” is fine. That’s insight, not failure.

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How Honest Can I Be in My Application?

Here’s the tension:
You want to be honest.
You also don’t want to torpedo yourself.

So where’s the line?

You can safely be honest about:

• Feeling nervous, overwhelmed, or out of place
• Being emotionally affected by patients’ stories or outcomes
• Not initially liking a specialty you thought you would
• Witnessing communication styles or system-level issues that troubled you
• Realizing medicine is more complex, messy, or emotionally heavy than you expected

You should be thoughtful and careful about:

• Directly attacking or naming physicians in a negative way
• Painting yourself purely as a victim with no reflection or agency
• Turning your entire narrative into “medicine is broken and I hated it”
• Making it sound like your discomfort led you to disengage completely

The safest and strongest way to talk about uncomfortable shadowing is usually:

1. Briefly describe the situation
2. Honestly name the discomfort (physical, emotional, ethical)
3. Reflect on what it taught you about medicine and yourself
4. Show what you did next because of it (sought other experiences, read more, talked to mentors, etc.)

That four-step structure transforms “awkward and uncomfortable moment” into “growth and maturity.”

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What If I Just… Didn’t Like Shadowing at All?

This is the nightmare scenario, right?

You did what everyone said to do: you got shadowing hours.
And instead of “I’ve found my calling,” you got “I feel weird, useless, and low-key miserable.”

Now your brain is screaming:
“If I hate shadowing, I’ll hate being a doctor. And if I tell them, they’ll never take me.”

Here’s a quieter, more accurate version:

Shadowing is not what being a physician actually feels like.

When you’re shadowing, you:

• Don’t have a role
• Don’t have context on the patients
• Don’t understand the workflow
• Can’t talk much or contribute to decisions
• Are self-conscious every second (“Am I standing wrong? Am I in the way?”)

That awkward, fly-on-the-wall feeling is not how attendings experience their own work.

So, two things can be true:

1. You can genuinely dislike shadowing as a format
2. You can still thrive as a physician once you’re engaged, responsible, and useful

But.
If you disliked shadowing and you dislike every kind of hands-on or people-facing work you’ve tried (clinical volunteering, scribing, EMT, CNA, etc.), that’s worth taking seriously. That doesn’t mean “you’re bad” — it means more investigation before committing to this path.

Admissions committees aren’t judging you for shadowing discomfort. They’re making sure you understand what you’re signing up for. That’s a different thing.

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How to Turn an Uncomfortable Shadowing Experience Into a Strength

If you’re going to mention this in your application or interview, you can actually use it to make you more compelling, not less.

Try this mental reframing:

• Instead of “I panicked” → “I met the limits of my comfort and learned how to grow past them.”
• Instead of “That doctor was awful” → “I realized there are very different ways to practice medicine, and I want to embody X values.”
• Instead of “I hated seeing suffering” → “I realized how deeply I care, and I’m learning to turn that empathy into action instead of paralysis.”

Schools are not looking for:
“I was perfectly comfortable, never challenged, and loved every second of everything.”

They’re looking for:
“I was challenged, sometimes uncomfortable, and I used that discomfort to better understand myself, my motivations, and the reality of medicine.”

You can give them that.

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What You Can Actually Do Today

Your brain will keep looping on the uncomfortable moment unless you do something with it.

So today, pick one of these:

• Write a one-page reflection about that shadowing experience. What happened, what you felt, what you learned, and what you did (or want to do) next. No filter, just honesty.
• Identify one person you can talk to about it: a premed advisor, a mentor, another physician, a trusted upperclassman. Send the message asking to talk.
• Look for another clinical experience that’s a bit different (if you shadowed a surgeon, try primary care; if you shadowed in the ED, try a clinic). Commit to one next step of exposure.

Your discomfort is not a verdict.
It’s data.
What you do with that data is what schools will actually judge.

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FAQ (Exactly 5 Questions)

1. Should I mention that I felt uncomfortable during shadowing in my personal statement?
You don’t have to, and you definitely shouldn’t if you’re not ready to process it in a reflective way. If you do mention it, keep the description brief and focus more on what you learned and how it shaped your understanding of medicine. A couple of sentences about the discomfort, followed by concrete reflection and growth, is much stronger than a long emotional play-by-play.

2. Will schools think I’m weak if I fainted or had to leave during a procedure?
Not if you frame it as part of your learning process. Many students and even residents have had vasovagal episodes early on. What matters is how you responded: did you seek guidance, return when you were ready, and gradually build tolerance? A single incident like this isn’t disqualifying at all.

3. What if my only shadowing experience was really negative—should I still apply?
If your only experience was negative, it’s risky to base a whole career decision on that one data point, whether that’s “I’m all in” or “I’m out.” Before applying, try to get at least one more, preferably different, clinical exposure (another physician, setting, or role). Admissions committees want to see that your understanding of medicine isn’t based on a single day or single doctor.

4. Can I talk about a doctor behaving unprofessionally in my application?
You can talk about witnessing behavior that didn’t align with the kind of physician you want to be, but do it thoughtfully. Avoid naming or attacking individuals. Focus on what you observed, why it troubled you, what it taught you about your own values, and how it pushed you to seek better role models. Keep the tone reflective, not accusatory.

5. What if my discomfort made me question whether medicine is right for me? Will schools see that as a red flag?
Quietly? A lot of strong applicants have had that exact moment. Questioning isn’t a red flag; refusing to question anything is more concerning. You don’t need to tell schools every doubt you’ve ever had, but if you do share that you wrestled with the decision, make sure you also show how you explored those doubts—through more experiences, conversations, and reflection—and why you still chose medicine with your eyes more open, not closed.