Essential Pre-Interview Dinner Etiquette for International Medical Graduates

Understanding the Purpose of the Pre-Interview Dinner

For many international medical graduates (IMGs), the pre-interview dinner (often called the resident social, pre-interview social, or pre-interview mixer) can feel more stressful than the actual interview day. You’re in a new culture, maybe in a new country, trying to read social cues, remember etiquette, and make a good impression—all while fighting jet lag.

Despite the name, this event is usually informal and non-evaluative (at least officially). But it absolutely influences how residents and sometimes faculty perceive you, and those impressions can be shared with the program leadership.

Understanding the true goals of this dinner will help you approach it strategically and confidently:

• To help you assess “fit”

  • What are the residents like?
  • How do they interact with each other?
  • Do they seem happy and supported?
  • Does this city/environment feel right for you as an IMG?

• To help residents assess you as a future colleague

  • Are you respectful, personable, and easy to talk to?
  • Do you handle social situations smoothly?
  • Would you be pleasant on call at 3 am?

• To give you space for honest questions

  • Residents can often speak more freely than faculty about workload, culture, and support for IMGs.
  • You’ll learn what the program is really like, beyond the brochure.

As an IMG, this dinner is an invaluable opportunity to:

• Show that you can adapt to US professional culture
• Clarify any concerns about support for international medical graduates
• Demonstrate strong communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal

This IMG residency guide will walk you through what to do before, during, and after the pre-interview dinner, including resident dinner tips and exactly what to ask at dinner to make a memorable, positive impression.

---

Preparing Before the Pre-Interview Dinner

Success at the resident dinner starts well before you step into the restaurant. Thoughtful preparation can dramatically reduce anxiety, especially for IMGs who may be adjusting to cultural differences.

1. Clarify Logistics and Expectations

Carefully read the email invitation from the program or chief resident:

• Time & location:

  • Check travel time from your hotel (use Google Maps and add a 10–15 minute buffer).
  • Confirm time zone if you’re traveling across states.

• Dress code:

  • Most invitations say “casual” or “business casual.” For IMGs, a safe rule:
    • Men: Collared shirt (button-down or neat polo), dark jeans or chinos, closed-toe shoes.
    • Women: Blouse or sweater with slacks or a modest skirt; or a casual dress with flats/low heels.
  • Avoid:
    • Very bright, flashy outfits
    • T-shirts with slogans
    • Gym shoes, flip-flops, or very high heels
  • If unsure, lean slightly more formal than residents, but less formal than interview day.

• Who will be there:

  • Usually: current residents (often interns and juniors), sometimes a chief resident, occasionally a faculty member.
  • Programs usually do not invite program directors to keep it relaxed, but this can vary.

• Meals and payment:

  • Nearly all US programs pay for your meal.
  • It is almost never expected that you pay or tip separately.
  • If you’re uncertain, you can politely ask the coordinator beforehand:
    • “Just to clarify, are meals covered by the program at the pre-interview dinner?”

2. Research the Program and City

Doing your homework makes conversation smoother and shows genuine interest:

• Review:

  • Program website and resident bios
  • Any IMG-specific information (visa support, mentorship, preparatory curriculum)
  • City features: climate, cost of living, transportation, neighborhoods

• Look for:

  • Notable strengths (research areas, community outreach, fellowship match)
  • IMG presence (How many residents are international medical graduates?)
  • Unique aspects (global health tracks, refugee clinic, language services)

Bring 3–5 specific talking points or questions based on your research. This helps you avoid awkward silences and generic conversations.

3. Plan Your Introduction and “Story”

You are likely to introduce yourself multiple times. Prepare a short, natural self-introduction:

Example 20–30 second introduction:

“Hi, I’m Dr. [Name]. I graduated from [Medical School] in [Country]. I’ve been in the U.S. for [time] doing [research/observership/clinical work]. I’m particularly interested in [field/interest], and I’m excited to learn more about your program and life in this city.”

As an IMG, include:

• Your home country or region
• Your medical school or training background
• Current status (research fellow, observer, prelim year, recent graduate)

Practice this out loud so it sounds confident but not robotic.

4. Prepare Common Topics and Safe Conversation Areas

To feel more comfortable in English and US social style, prepare for common small-talk themes:

• Safe topics:

  • Travel and moving to the US
  • The city (neighborhoods, weather, sports teams)
  • Hobbies, fitness, podcasts, cooking, non-controversial TV shows
  • Residency life (call schedule, favorite rotations, mentorship)

• Avoid early in the night:

  • Politics, religion, controversial social issues
  • Salary and personal finances
  • Very personal questions (marital status, family planning, etc.)

---

How to Behave During the Pre-Interview Dinner

This section is the core of your IMG residency guide: what to do, how to sit, what to order, how to speak, and what to avoid. Think of this as your etiquette roadmap.

1. Arrival and Seating Etiquette

• Arrive 10–15 minutes early

  • Better to be a bit early than risk being the last one walking in.
  • If you’re running late (traffic, weather), email or call the contact provided.

• Greeting people:

  • Smile, make eye contact, and offer a handshake.
  • In the US, a handshake is usually firm but not crushing; 1–2 pumps.
  • Some people may prefer fist bumps or minimal contact, especially post-COVID; mirror their style if unsure.

• Where to sit:

  • If seats aren’t assigned, choose a place close to the center of the table, not at the very edge.
  • Avoid clustering only with other IMGs; sit near residents so you can talk with them.
  • If you arrive early and are unsure, you can ask a resident:
    • “Is it okay if I sit here, or is this spot reserved?”

2. Ordering Food and Handling Dietary Restrictions

Residents know this is a new country and culture for many applicants, but how you order and behave at the table still forms an impression.

General rules when ordering:

• Choose mid-priced items, not the most expensive thing on the menu.
• Avoid very messy or hard-to-eat dishes (massive burgers dripping sauce, long noodles that splash, ribs you must eat with hands).
• One course is usually acceptable (entree). You don’t need to order appetizers or dessert unless the group does and residents clearly encourage it.

For IMGs with dietary restrictions (religious, vegetarian, halal, etc.):

• Check the restaurant menu online ahead of time.

• If nothing fits your needs, email the coordinator politely before the dinner:

  “I follow [halal/vegetarian/other] dietary restrictions. I just wanted to check if the chosen restaurant is able to accommodate this.”

• At the restaurant:

  • Quietly mention to the server:

    “I don’t eat pork / I prefer vegetarian options—what would you recommend?”

  • You do not have to explain your religion or detailed reasons unless you feel comfortable.

Alcohol:

• Most pre-interview dinners serve alcohol. As an IMG, remember:
  • You are not required to drink. It is completely acceptable to say:

    “I’ll just have water/soda, thank you.”

  • If you choose to drink:
    • Limit yourself to one standard drink (beer, wine, or a small cocktail).
    • Drink slowly over the course of the evening.
  • Never get tipsy or drunk, even if residents are being casual.

3. Table Manners and Nonverbal Cues

You don’t need to display perfect Western formal dining etiquette, but you should demonstrate basic table manners:

• Keep elbows off the table while eating.
• Use utensils appropriately; in the US it’s common:
  • Either “American style” (switching fork to right hand after cutting
  • Or “European style” (fork stays in left) – both are acceptable.
• Don’t talk with your mouth full; take small bites so you can join conversation.
• Place your napkin on your lap once seated; if you stand up, leave it on your chair.

Nonverbal communication tips for IMGs:

• Maintain comfortable eye contact (brief but regular), not staring.
• Nod while listening to show you’re engaged.
• Keep your phone on silent and do not use it at the table unless:
  • You must respond to an emergency; then excuse yourself briefly.

4. Conversation: What to Talk About and What to Ask at Dinner

The heart of your resident dinner strategy is effective conversation. You’re not being grilled, but you are being observed as a potential colleague.

A. Balancing Speaking and Listening

• Aim to:
  • Ask questions about the program and residents’ lives
  • Share enough about yourself so people remember you positively
  • Avoid dominating the discussion or staying completely silent

A good rule: For every longer answer you give, ask 1–2 questions to others.

B. High-Value Topics for IMGs

Here are examples of what to ask at dinner that are especially useful for an international medical graduate:

Program culture and support

• “How supportive is the program for international medical graduates?”
• “Did the program provide help with adjustment to life in the US?”
• “How approachable are the attendings when you have questions?”

Schedule and workload

• “What does a typical week on wards look like for an intern here?”
• “How often do you get golden weekends?”
• “How is the night float system structured?”

Teaching and education

• “How often do you have didactics or protected teaching time?”
• “Do residents get enough exposure to different pathologies?”
• “How much autonomy do you feel you have with patient care?”

Fellowship and career outcomes

• “How have recent graduates done in terms of fellowship placement?”
• “What kind of mentorship do residents receive for career planning, especially IMGs?”

Life in the city as an IMG

• “Is this city welcoming to international residents?”
• “Where do most residents live? Is it easy to get around without a car?”
• “What do you usually do for fun or relaxation on days off?”

These questions show you are serious, thoughtful, and future-oriented.

C. Showing Your Personality (Without Oversharing)

You want residents to see you as a real person, not just a CV. It’s good to:

• Share your:
  • Hobbies (music, sports, hiking, cooking, reading, travel)
  • Cultural background in a positive way
  • Favorite parts of medicine or memorable patient stories (de-identified)

Example:

“Back home in [Country], I did my internship in a rural area, which really taught me how to manage with limited resources. That experience made me very interested in working with underserved populations here as well.”

Avoid:

• Speaking negatively about:
  • Your home country’s system
  • Other programs or hospitals
  • Specific people (attendings, colleagues, supervisors)
• Very personal topics like:
  • Immigration hardships in detail
  • Financial struggles, family conflicts
  • Trauma or distressing experiences you’re not comfortable sharing

5. Handling Cultural Differences and Awkward Moments

As an IMG, you might encounter confusing cultural norms. That’s okay. Residents know you’re learning.

If you don’t understand a joke or phrase:

• You can smile and gently ask:

  “I’m still learning some American expressions—what does that mean?”

  • Most people will explain happily, and it can become a fun moment.

If conversation becomes political or controversial:

• You are not required to share strong opinions. You can say:

  “I’m still learning about how things work here, so I don’t have a strong opinion yet.”

  • Then gently change the topic back to residency or neutral interests.

If you feel yourself talking too much:

• Pause and ask another:

  “What was your experience like with that rotation?”

If you feel shy or quiet:

• Prepare 3 “go-to” questions in your head. For example:
  • “What surprised you most about this program after you started?”
  • “If you could change one thing about the program, what would it be?”
  • “What do you wish you had known as an applicant?”

---

Subtle Evaluation: What Residents Notice (and What to Avoid)

While many programs say the pre-interview dinner is “informal” and “non-evaluative,” residents often share feedback with leadership. They usually care about how you would be as a colleague.

1. Positive Behaviors That Leave a Strong Impression

Residents tend to remember applicants who are:

• Respectful and curious
  • Ask thoughtful questions without appearing demanding or negative.
• Kind and inclusive
  • Involve quieter applicants in the conversation:

    “What was your experience in [your country] like?”

• Appreciative but not overly flattering
  • Express genuine gratitude:

    “Thank you all for organizing this dinner. It’s very helpful, especially for an IMG like me.”

• Adaptable and open-minded
  • Show willingness to learn the system and adjust to new ways of working.

2. Red Flags and Behaviors to Avoid

From the residents' perspective, here are common red flags:

• Complaining or negativity
  • Constantly criticizing other programs, current job, country, or system.
• Arrogance
  • Bragging excessively about scores, research, or ranking plans.
• Inappropriate humor or comments
  • Offensive jokes, comments about appearance, or anything that could be seen as sexist, racist, or discriminatory.
• Over-disclosure
  • Sharing very personal or dramatic stories not suitable for a first professional meeting.
• Substance misuse
  • Drinking too much, becoming loud, or behaving inappropriately.

As an IMG, one additional red flag to avoid is harshly criticizing your home system or colleagues. Balanced comments are fine, but extreme negativity can worry residents about how you might speak about them in the future.

---

Strategic Follow-Up After the Pre-Interview Dinner

What you do after the dinner can reinforce your image and help you later in the match process.

1. Reflect on Fit—Not Just on Prestige

Soon after returning to your hotel, write a few notes:

• How did you feel around the residents?
• Did they seem genuinely happy and supportive?
• Did they answer questions honestly, especially about IMGs and workload?
• Can you see yourself living in this city for 3+ years?

Use these notes when building your rank list later. Chemistry with residents often predicts your day-to-day happiness more than name recognition.

2. Decide Whether to Send Thank-You Messages

There’s variation in practice, but for IMGs it is never wrong to express professional gratitude.

Possible approaches:

• If you have the residents’ contact info (sometimes provided in the invitation), you can send a brief email to the main organizer (e.g., chief resident or social chair).

Example:

Subject: Thank you for the pre-interview dinner

Dear Dr. [Name],

Thank you for organizing last night’s pre-interview dinner. As an international medical graduate, it was very helpful to hear about your experiences and to learn more about resident life and support at [Program Name]. I especially appreciated your insights on [specific point you discussed].

I look forward to learning more about the program on interview day.

Best regards,
[Your Name], MD

• Keep it:
  • Short
  • Specific
  • Professional

Avoid sounding desperate or stating rank intentions at this stage.

3. Use What You Learned on Interview Day

The pre-interview dinner often provides details you can reference during your faculty interviews.

Examples:

• “During the dinner yesterday, the residents mentioned they feel very supported when starting in the ICU. That kind of environment is particularly important to me as an IMG adjusting to a new system.”
• “I heard a lot about your clinic for underserved populations. That aligns with my prior work in [Country/setting].”

This shows:

• You listened carefully
• You are genuinely interested
• You think critically about your training environment

---

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for IMGs About Pre-Interview Dinners

1. Is the pre-interview dinner mandatory for an IMG? What if I can’t attend?

Attendance is not usually mandatory, but it is strongly recommended if you can attend. It gives you crucial information about program culture and IMG support.

If you can’t attend due to travel limitations, clinical duties, or visa issues:

• Inform the coordinator as soon as possible:

  “Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the pre-interview dinner due to [brief reason]. I’m very much looking forward to the interview day and to learning more about the program.”

• Your absence alone is unlikely to hurt you, especially if you communicate clearly and professionally.

2. Can what I say at the resident dinner hurt my chances of matching?

Yes, in rare cases. While many programs describe the event as “informal,” residents often share feedback. If you:

• Are rude, disrespectful, or highly negative
• Get intoxicated or behave inappropriately
• Make offensive comments or appear disinterested

…residents may share their concerns with the program leadership. On the other hand, polite, engaged behavior generally helps your image.

3. As an IMG, how honest can I be about my need for visa support or IMG-specific concerns?

You can absolutely ask about IMG support and visa history, but keep it professional and balanced:

Good questions:

• “Have previous residents successfully matched into the program on J‑1 or H‑1B visas?”
• “Are there formal mentorship structures, especially for international medical graduates?”

Less ideal:

• Very intense or repeated questioning about visas that makes you seem anxious or singularly focused on immigration.

Remember: detailed visa/legal discussions are better saved for the coordinator or program director on interview day or via email.

4. What if my English is not perfect? Will that be a problem at the dinner?

Residents understand that for many IMGs, English is a second or third language. What matters more than perfect grammar is:

• Clarity: Speak slowly and clearly.
• Comprehension: Ask politely if you miss something:

  “Could you please repeat that? I want to make sure I understood correctly.”

• Effort: Show that you are trying to engage and communicate.

If your spoken English is functional for clinical work and you demonstrate a willingness to learn and adapt, minor accent or grammar issues are generally not a barrier.

---

By preparing thoughtfully and approaching the pre-interview dinner with calm confidence, you transform it from a source of stress into a strategic advantage. As an international medical graduate, this is your chance to show you’re not only capable but also collegial, adaptable, and someone residents will be proud to call a teammate.