Essential Pre-Interview Dinner Etiquette for Non-US Citizen IMGs

Understanding the Purpose of the Pre-Interview Dinner as a Non-US Citizen IMG

For a non-US citizen IMG, the pre-interview dinner (often called “resident dinner” or “pre-interview social”) can feel unfamiliar and intimidating. It is not just a free meal or a casual hangout. It is a semi-formal professional event with very specific goals—for you and for the program.

What the Dinner Means for the Program

Most residency programs use the pre-interview dinner to:

• Showcase their residents and culture
• See how you interact in a relaxed, social environment
• Allow you to ask honest questions without faculty present
• Observe your communication skills and professionalism “off script”

While the dinner rarely makes an application, it can absolutely break one if you behave unprofessionally, appear uninterested, or disrespect cultural or social norms.

What the Dinner Means for You as a Foreign National Medical Graduate

As a foreign national medical graduate and non-US citizen IMG, the dinner is a key opportunity to:

• Demonstrate strong spoken English and interpersonal skills
• Show you understand and respect US cultural norms and boundaries
• Ask targeted questions about visa sponsorship, support for IMGs, and the reality of life in the program
• Build rapport with residents who may later advocate for you

Think of the dinner as a “preview” of what you would be like as a colleague: approachable, respectful, curious, and collaborative.

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Before the Dinner: Preparation Strategies for Non-US Citizen IMGs

Good etiquette starts long before you sit down at the table. Your preparation influences both your confidence and how you are perceived.

1. Confirm Logistics and Show Reliability

When you receive the dinner invitation:

• RSVP promptly (usually within 24–48 hours).
• If you have dietary restrictions (vegetarian, halal, kosher, allergies), mention them clearly and politely. Programs are used to accommodating needs.
• Note the time, location, dress code, and transportation plan.

Aim to arrive 10–15 minutes early. If you are using rideshare or public transportation in an unfamiliar city, build in extra time for delays.

2. Dress Code: Business Casual, Not Formal Interview

Pre-interview dinners are usually business casual, not full suit and tie.

Safe business-casual choices:

• Men: Collared shirt or blouse, dress pants or neat chinos, closed-toe shoes. Blazer optional.
• Women: Blouse or smart top with slacks or a modest skirt, or a simple dress; low-to-medium heels or flats.

Avoid:

• T-shirts, ripped jeans, gym sneakers, very tight or revealing clothing
• Strong perfumes/colognes (many hospitals/restaurants are sensitive about scents)

If in doubt, slightly overdress rather than underdress. You can remove a blazer if you feel too formal.

3. Prepare Your Introduction and “Small Talk” Topics

As a non-US citizen IMG, you may be less familiar with American small talk norms. It helps to prepare:

• A 2–3 sentence introduction:
  • Your name and how to pronounce it
  • Where you went to medical school
  • Where you are currently (research, observership, Step preparation, etc.)
  • Your specialty interests

Example:
“Hi, I’m Ahmed, it’s pronounced ‘Ah-med.’ I completed medical school at Cairo University, and I’ve been doing a research fellowship in cardiology in Boston this year. I’m very interested in internal medicine with a focus on cardiology.”

• A few safe, neutral topics:
  • Sports (general, not overly competitive or insulting local teams)
  • Hobbies and interests (music, movies, hiking, travel)
  • The city you are visiting (weather, attractions, neighborhoods)
  • Non-controversial news (medical innovations, new guidelines, etc.)

Avoid heavy or polarizing topics: politics, religion, controversial social issues unless the resident brings it up and it’s handled in a very neutral, cautious way.

4. Know Your Key Questions in Advance

You will likely wonder what to ask at dinner. Write down 6–10 questions that matter most to you as a non-US citizen IMG, especially around:

• Visa sponsorship and institutional support
• How previous IMGs have integrated into the program
• Call schedules and workload
• Culture of teaching and feedback
• The city’s cost of living and lifestyle

You do not need to ask all questions, but having them ready prevents awkward silence and helps you focus your limited time.

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At the Dinner: Core Etiquette and Behavior Principles

Once you arrive, your body language, conversation style, and dining etiquette all matter. Programs are not expecting perfection—but they expect professionalism.

1. Greeting and Seating: First Impressions Count

• Greet residents with a smile, eye contact, and a clear introduction.
• If you are unsure how to pronounce someone’s name, ask politely and repeat it.
• Handshakes are common but not always required; follow the lead of others. A smile and verbal greeting are more important than physical contact.
• If there is open seating, avoid clustering only with other IMGs or people from your country. Sit where you can talk to several residents.

Example phrase:
“Hi, I’m Riya. It’s nice to meet you—do you mind if I sit here?”

2. Alcohol Etiquette: Navigating a Cultural Minefield

Alcohol is a common source of anxiety for many non-US citizen IMGs.

General rules:

• If you do not drink alcohol for personal, religious, or health reasons:

  • It is completely acceptable to say:
    • “I don’t drink, but I’ll have a soda/water/juice, thank you.”
  • No need to apologize or over-explain. Most residents will respect your choice.

• If you do drink but rarely:

  • One standard drink (beer, wine, or a simple cocktail) over the entire evening is generally acceptable.
  • Stop at one. You are still being evaluated.
  • Drink slowly, alternate with water, and never let alcohol affect your speech, judgment, or behavior.

• If you are unsure: It is safest not to drink alcohol at all.

Programs will not rank you lower for declining alcohol; they will notice if you are even slightly intoxicated.

3. Food and Table Manners: Simple, Clean, Respectful

You are not being judged on perfect Western table etiquette, but obvious mistakes can be distracting.

Basic guidelines:

• Wait for others before you start eating, or follow the lead of residents.
• Keep your elbows mostly off the table while eating.
• Take small bites so you can answer questions without talking with your mouth full.
• Use napkin on your lap.
• Avoid ordering the most expensive item or messy foods (giant burgers, ribs, spicy noodles that can splash, etc.), unless everything on the menu is similar.

If you have dietary restrictions:

• Confidently say, “I don’t eat pork, but the chicken/fish/vegetarian option looks great.”
• If you are unsure about ingredients, you can ask the server briefly and politely.

4. Conversation Style: Being Engaged but Not Dominating

Programs are watching how you function in a group.

Aim for:

• Balanced participation: Talk enough to show your personality, but do not dominate conversation.
• Active listening: Nod, maintain eye contact, and respond to what others say rather than always changing the topic to yourself.
• Inclusive behavior: If you notice someone quiet, you might ask, “What has your experience been as an intern here?” Residents notice this social awareness.

Avoid:

• Interrupting frequently
• Only talking to one resident the entire time
• Only speaking with people from your home country or language group

As a non-US citizen IMG, showing that you can communicate comfortably with people from many backgrounds is an asset.

5. “Professional but Human”: Topics to Share and Avoid

The dinner is social, but it is still a professional extension of your interview.

Safe topics to discuss:

• Why you like the specialty and what motivates you
• Your hobbies: music, cooking, sports, reading, travel
• Funny but appropriate stories from medical school (avoid patient identifiers)
• How you are finding the city and US culture

Topics to avoid or handle carefully:

• Criticizing other programs or cities (“That other program was terrible…”)
• Complaining about USMLE, ECFMG, or immigration in angry or bitter ways
• Very dark humor about patients, death, or suffering
• Complaints about your home country or previous institutions
• Discussing specific interview questions from earlier that day in detail

You can absolutely mention the challenges of being a foreign national medical graduate, but frame them in a balanced, resilient way:

“The visa process has definitely been complicated, but it’s also helped me become very organized and persistent.”

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What to Ask at Dinner: Smart Questions for Non-US Citizen IMGs

Knowing what to ask at dinner is crucial. Your questions reveal your priorities, preparedness, and understanding of residency life in the US. As a non-US citizen IMG, you have some unique angles to explore.

1. Program Culture and Resident Life

These are universally important questions for all applicants:

• “How would you describe the culture of the program—more laid back or more intense?”
• “What does a typical day look like for an intern here?”
• “How is the relationship between residents and attendings?”
• “What do residents usually do on their day off?”

These show that you are thinking about fit and well-being, not just prestige.

2. Questions Specific to Foreign National Medical Graduates

As a non-US citizen IMG, you should tactfully explore issues related to visas and support. Use neutral, professional language.

Examples:

• “I’m a non-US citizen IMG and will require visa sponsorship. How has the program historically supported foreign national medical graduates with visa processes?”
• “Are there current residents who are non-US citizen IMGs? How has their experience been in terms of support and integration?”
• “Does the institution have experience with J-1/H-1B sponsorship for residents?”

Ask residents first—they are often very honest. Later, you can confirm details with the program coordinator or during the formal interview.

3. Education, Mentoring, and Career Outcomes

To show you are thinking long term:

• “How easy is it to get research or scholarly activity here?”
• “What kind of mentorship do IMGs get, especially for fellowships or job placement after residency?”
• “Where have recent graduates gone—fellowships, hospital jobs, community practice?”

These questions signal ambition and maturity.

4. Lifestyle, City, and Support Systems

Residents know the real experience of living in that city:

• “What’s it like to live in this city on a resident salary?”
• “Which neighborhoods do residents typically live in?”
• “Are there social events, wellness activities, or support resources the program provides?”

As a foreign national medical graduate far from home, understanding community and support is critical.

5. Questions to Avoid or Reframe

Avoid questions that seem:

• Too aggressive about money or perks:
  • Instead of “How much do you pay?” ask “Is your salary in line with the institutional GME scale, and do you feel it’s adequate for the area?”
• Overly negative or complaining:
  • Instead of “What’s the worst thing about this program?” ask “What are some areas the program is currently working to improve?”
• Easily answered by the website:
  • Don’t ask basic facts like number of residents or rotation blocks unless you are seeking clarification beyond what was provided.

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Common Pitfalls for Non-US Citizen IMGs and How to Avoid Them

Many foreign national medical graduates unintentionally make mistakes at resident dinners because of cultural misunderstandings or nerves. Being aware of these pitfalls can help you avoid them.

1. Being Too Quiet or Too Formal

Coming from more hierarchical systems, some IMGs remain overly formal (calling residents “Doctor” all evening, speaking very little, or sitting rigidly).

Instead:

• Use first names if they introduce themselves that way.
• Smile and share your thoughts; it is okay to show personality and humor as long as it is respectful.
• If you’re shy, aim for short but regular contributions: a question here, a comment there.

Example:
“I’m still getting used to American restaurant culture—it’s very different from home, but I’m enjoying it so far.”

2. Over-Disclosing Difficulties or Complaints

It is understandable that you have faced significant challenges with exams, finances, or immigration. But the dinner is not the place to vent deeply.

• Avoid long stories about visa denials, unfair treatment, or repeated failures.
• You may mention obstacles briefly, but focus on resilience and growth, not bitterness.

Better framing:

“I had to delay my Step exams due to visa issues, but I used the time to do observerships and research, which ended up strengthening my application.”

3. Misjudging Humor or Sarcasm

US humor can be heavily sarcastic or self-deprecating. It is okay if you do not fully join the jokes, but be cautious:

• Do not make jokes that could be misinterpreted as offensive (gender, religion, race, immigration, patients).
• If you’re unsure, keep your humor light and positive (funny stories about learning English sayings, adjusting to weather, etc.).

Example of safe humor:
“The first week I was in Chicago, I realized my winter coat from home was actually a fall jacket here!”

4. Over-Focusing on Visa and Immigration

Visa questions are important, but if you talk about visas all evening, residents may feel you care more about paperwork than about patient care or education.

Balance your topics:

• Ask 1–3 targeted visa-related questions.
• Spend the rest of the time discussing training, teaching, lifestyle, and your interests.

5. Forgetting That Residents Talk to Faculty

Even though faculty may not be at the dinner, residents often share feedback about applicants. Comments like:

• “She seemed very disengaged.”
• “He was on his phone a lot.”
• “They made some uncomfortable comments.”

can hurt your position.

Behave as if you are visible to the program leadership at all times—because, indirectly, you are.

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After the Dinner: Follow-Up and Reflection

The pre-interview dinner does not end when you leave the restaurant; what you do afterward also matters.

1. Exiting Gracefully

When the evening is closing:

• Thank the residents and organizers before you leave.
• A simple: “Thank you so much for hosting us tonight; I really appreciated hearing about your experiences,” is sufficient.
• Do not linger long after most people have left; follow the natural end of the event.

2. Reflect While It’s Fresh

Back at your hotel or home, write brief notes:

• Who you spoke with (names if possible)
• Key impressions of the program’s culture
• Anything that stood out about support for IMGs or non-US citizen residents
• Red flags (e.g., residents expressing burnout without support, no previous IMGs, negative comments about education)

These notes will help when you create your rank list and when programs begin to blur together.

3. Thank-You Notes: Optional but Thoughtful

You are not required to send thank-you notes to residents after a pre-interview dinner. However, if a resident spent a lot of time with you or answered important questions (especially about IMG/visa issues), a short email can be appropriate:

• Keep it short, specific, and sincere.
• Avoid “selling yourself” too aggressively in this email.

Example:

Subject: Thank You

Dear [First Name],

Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me at last night’s pre-interview dinner. I really appreciated your insights about how the program supports international medical graduates and your honest perspective on the workload and teaching.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

4. Using the Dinner to Adjust Your Strategy

If you notice from one dinner that:

• You felt too quiet
• You struggled with small talk
• You asked only technical questions

you can adjust for upcoming pre-interview dinners:

• Practice casual conversation with friends or mentors.
• Prepare a few personal stories that highlight your journey as a non-US citizen IMG in a positive way.
• Rotate your questions so you do not repeat the same ones mechanically.

Each dinner is an opportunity to improve your performance and feel more comfortable.

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FAQs: Pre-Interview Dinner Etiquette for Non-US Citizen IMGs

1. Is the pre-interview dinner mandatory for a non-US citizen IMG?

It is usually optional but strongly recommended. Attending shows interest and helps you understand whether the program and city fit your needs as a foreign national medical graduate. If you cannot attend due to travel, visas, or personal issues, politely inform the program coordinator and express that you are still very interested.

2. What if my spoken English is not perfect?

Fluency does not mean having no accent. Residents mainly look for:

• Clear communication
• Ability to understand and be understood
• Willingness to ask for clarification

Speak slowly, clearly, and confidently. If you do not understand something, say:
“I’m not familiar with that expression—could you explain?”
This is better than pretending to understand and becoming lost.

3. How should I handle it if residents ask personal or sensitive questions?

If a question feels too personal (e.g., about your political views, finances, or immigration history), you can answer briefly and redirect:

“That’s been a complex process, but overall things are moving forward. I’m more excited to talk about how I hope to contribute here as a resident.”

You are not obligated to share details you are uncomfortable with.

4. Can I discuss other interviews or offers during the dinner?

You can mention that you are interviewing at other places, but avoid:

• Comparing programs negatively
• Bragging about “top” interviews
• Saying you will definitely rank another place first

If asked, you can say:
“I’ve been fortunate to interview at a few programs, and I’m really focusing on finding the best fit in terms of culture and training. I’ve been very impressed by what I’ve seen here so far.”

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Mastering pre-interview dinner etiquette is especially important for a non-US citizen IMG navigating a new healthcare culture. With thoughtful preparation, balanced curiosity, and professional warmth, you can turn the resident dinner into a powerful advantage in your residency match journey.