Residency Advisor
The honest answer: no, you absolutely do not need to respond to every “Congrats!!” message on Match Day. And trying to do it all in real time is a terrible idea.
You’re not a customer service chatbot. You’re a human who just went through one of the biggest emotional events of your life. Treat it that way.
Let’s break down what actually matters, who you should prioritize, and how to handle the rest without burning your entire Match Day staring at your phone.
The Core Rule: Match Day Is Not for Inbox Zero
Match Day has three competing realities:
- You’re emotionally fried (even if you matched exactly where you wanted).
- You’re suddenly “public property” for a day – everyone wants a piece of your attention.
- Your phone, group chats, email, and social media all explode at once.
Trying to personally respond to every single “Congrats!!! 🎉” in the first 24 hours is:
- Unnecessary
- Exhausting
- A guaranteed way to miss actually enjoying the day
Here’s the frame I’d use:
- You owe people gratitude.
- You do NOT owe people instant, individual responses.
- You especially don’t owe anything to random or low-investment acquaintances.
You can be polite and appreciative without being glued to your phone all day.
Who Actually Deserves a Real Response?
There are some people where a personal response matters. Not for etiquette points—because these are the folks who carried you here.
| Category | Value |
|---|---|
| Close family/partner | 100 |
| Key mentors/letter writers | 95 |
| Best friends/co-applicants | 90 |
| General classmates | 40 |
| Social media acquaintances | 10 |
Tier 1: Immediate, Personal Responses (same day or next day)
These people get actual human replies, not just likes on a story.
- Partner/spouse, parents, siblings, kids
- Closest friends (the ones who knew your rank list before your dean did)
- Key mentors and letter writers
- The PD or APD who emails you if you matched at their program
- Anyone who went out of their way that day (e.g., drove to see you, FaceTimed, etc.)
For these people:
- Respond within 24–48 hours.
- A short, real message is enough.
Examples:
- “Thanks so much – couldn’t have done this without your support this year.”
- “Really appreciate everything you did to help me get here.”
- “So excited to be joining your program – can’t wait to learn from you all.”
Tier 2: Personal, But Not Urgent (within a few days)
These are important, but they won’t be offended if it takes you a little time.
- Attendings you rotated with who send a kind note
- Residents who helped you on audition rotations
- Advisors and staff in student affairs
- Extended family, old friends from college, coaches, etc.
You can respond over the next 3–7 days as you catch up.
A simple template works:
- “Thank you so much! I’m really excited about [specialty/program]. Hope you’re doing well too!”
- “Thanks for thinking of me – feels surreal it’s finally done.”
Tier 3: Group Gratitude, Not Individual Replies
These are the lower-stakes folks:
- Giant group chats (class GroupMe/WhatsApp, big friend groups)
- Instagram/Facebook/Twitter replies, story reactions
- “Congrats!!” from someone you haven’t spoken to in 4 years
- Distant acquaintances, classmates you barely know
Here, a group response or broadcast thank-you is totally appropriate.
Options:
- Reply once in the group chat:
“Thanks everyone! Feel really lucky to be going to [Program] for [Specialty] – appreciate all of you.” - Post a story or message:
“Overwhelmed by all the messages – thank you all so much for the love and support. Trying to soak it all in, will respond as I can.”
That covers your bases. Normal people understand.
How To Avoid Spending Match Day On Your Phone
Here’s the playbook I’ve seen work well.
Step 1: Decide Your Phone Rules Before Match Day
Seriously—decide this before you open your email or envelope.
Options I recommend:
- Hard limit: You check messages 2–3 times that day only.
- Designated “reply windows”: 15–20 minutes mid-day and in the evening.
- Give your phone to your partner/friend for a while and focus on the ceremony/lunch/dinner.
If you don’t make this decision ahead of time, your anxiety will drive the schedule. And anxiety always wants you refreshing notifications.
Step 2: Use 1–2 Broadcast Messages
This buys you breathing room and signals to people that you’re grateful but overwhelmed (which is true).
Examples you can copy-paste or slightly edit:
For social media:
“Matched into [Specialty] at [Program]! Feeling incredibly grateful and overwhelmed. Thank you for all the love and messages – means more than you know. I may be slow to reply but I appreciate every single one of you.”For big group chats:
“Love you guys, thank you all. Matching with this group made this whole process way more tolerable. Appreciate all the support.”
Step 3: Prioritize 5–10 People the First Day
That’s it. Not 100. Not 250.
On Match Day itself, focus on:
- Family
- Partner
- 1–3 closest friends
- 2–3 key mentors
That might literally be 6–10 people, max. Everyone else can wait a day or more.
What About Faculty, PDs, and Professional Contacts?
This is where people overthink.
Program You Matched At
If they email you directly:
- Reply within 24–48 hours if possible.
- Short, enthusiastic, professional.
Example:
“Thank you so much! I’m thrilled to have matched at [Program] and I’m really looking forward to joining the team in July.”
If it’s a mass email (“Congrats to all our incoming residents”), you don’t have to respond individually, but replying with a brief thank-you never hurts.
Letter Writers and Core Mentors
They’ve invested in you. They care. They want to know where you ended up.
If you haven’t already told them:
- Send them a short, personal email—even if they didn’t message you first.
Example:
“Hi Dr. Smith, I wanted to share the good news – I matched into [Specialty] at [Program]. I’m very grateful for your mentorship and your letter of recommendation; your support made a huge difference. Thank you again for everything.”
This is one of the few Match Day communications that actually matters long term. Mentors remember that you closed the loop.
Handling Social Media Without Losing Your Mind
Social media is where things go off the rails.
You post your Match announcement. Within an hour: 150 likes, 50 comments, 30 DMs, 10 story reactions. You feel guilty for not replying. That guilt is pointless.
Here’s a clean system.
| Step | Description |
|---|---|
| Step 1 | Post Match Announcement |
| Step 2 | Turn Off Push Notifications |
| Step 3 | Check Messages 1-2 Times Day |
| Step 4 | Reply Personally |
| Step 5 | Like or Ignore |
| Step 6 | Post General Thank You Story |
| Step 7 | Is it close friend or mentor |
Tips that actually work:
- Turn off push notifications for that day. Open apps intentionally, not reactively.
- “Like” or react to comments instead of replying one by one. Socially acceptable.
- Respond only to DMs from close friends, mentors, or people you genuinely want to talk to.
- Do a follow-up story the next day:
“Trying to catch up on messages, but wanted to say thank you again to everyone who reached out. You’re the best.”
Nobody sane will be sitting at home stewing that you didn’t reply to their “OMG congrats!!” on Instagram.
Scripts You Can Steal (So You Don’t Have to Think)
You’re going to be emotionally wrung out. Thinking of what to say is one more decision. Don’t reinvent the wheel.
Here are ready-made templates.
For Close Friends
“Dude. Thank you. This has been insane. So glad we survived this together.”
or
“Love you, seriously. Thanks for being there for all the meltdowns this year.”
For Family
“Thank you for supporting me through all of this. Couldn’t have done any of it without you.”
For Mentors/Faculty
“Thank you so much for the kind words and for all your help this year. I’m really grateful for your support and guidance.”
For People You Barely Know
“Thank you! Appreciate you reaching out.”
That’s it. You don’t need to write essays.
What If You Don’t Respond For a Week (or Two)?
Let me be very clear: you’re allowed to be slow.
Post-Match:
- You might be traveling.
- You might be decompressing.
- You might be dealing with mixed feelings if you didn’t match at your top choice.
If you come back to your messages late, here’s how to handle it.
Example:
“Hey, just now catching up on all my Match messages – thank you so much for thinking of me! I really appreciate it.”
No one is going to punish you for late gratitude. If they do, that’s their issue, not yours.
What If You Didn’t Match Where You Wanted?
This is the other layer people don’t talk about.
Sometimes the “Congrats!!” messages sting a little. You matched—but not at your dream program. Or not in your first-choice specialty (e.g., prelim year, SOAP outcome, etc.).
You don’t owe anyone emotional disclosure.
You can still respond in a way that protects your boundaries:
- “Thank you – it’s been a big week. I’m grateful to have matched and I’m focusing on making the most of this next step.”
- If you don’t feel like talking about it yet: delay. There’s no rule that says you must engage deeply that day.
You’re allowed to have complicated feelings even while you say thank you.
Quick Comparison: Who Gets What Kind of Response
| Relationship Type | Response Type | Timeframe |
|---|---|---|
| Partner/Immediate Family | Personal message/call | Same day |
| Mentors/Letter Writers | Personal message/email | 1–3 days |
| Close Friends | Text/DM/Call | 1–3 days |
| Class Group Chats | One group thank-you | Same day |
| Social Media Acquaintances | Like/ignore/general post | 3–7 days or never |
FAQ: Do I Need to Respond to Every ‘Congrats’ Message on Match Day?
1. Is it rude if I don’t respond to every single message?
No. It’s normal. People know Match Day is overwhelming. As long as you respond to your inner circle and mentors, you’re fine. A general “thank you” post or group message covers most of the rest.
2. How fast do I need to reply to faculty or mentors?
Within 24–72 hours is perfectly acceptable. If you’re completely swamped, even a week later with, “Catching up on messages now, thank you so much for your support,” is still polite and appropriate.
3. Do I have to reply to every social media comment and DM?
Absolutely not. That’s a full-time job. Like comments if you want. Reply only to people you genuinely care about or who invested in your journey. A broad “thank you for all the messages” story is enough for the rest.
4. Should I text my letter writers even if they don’t message me first?
Yes, you should. A short email letting them know where you matched and thanking them is professional and appreciated. It’s one of the few communications that actually matters for long-term mentorship and networking.
5. What if I’m not that happy with my Match and don’t feel like celebrating?
You still don’t owe anyone deep emotional processing on Match Day. Keep responses simple and neutral: “Thank you, I appreciate you reaching out.” You can take space, respond slowly, and talk honestly only with the people you trust.
Bottom line: You don’t have to respond to every “Congrats” on Match Day, and you definitely don’t have to do it immediately. Prioritize your people (family, close friends, mentors), send smart group/broadcast thank-yous, and give yourself permission to actually experience the day instead of performing for your notifications.
