Residency Advisor
The blunt truth: You should be way less honest about your Match feelings on social media than you think.
Not because your feelings aren’t valid. They are. But because Match Day and the weeks around it are a political minefield, emotionally loaded for everyone, and your posts live forever in screenshots and search bars.
Let’s walk through how honest to be, where, and what to absolutely avoid.
The Core Rule: Public = Filtered, Private = Honest
Here’s the basic framework that actually works:
Public / semi-public (Twitter/X, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, class Facebook group, big GroupMe):
Be filtered, brief, and kind. Assume PDs, future co-residents, and faculty will see it.Small, closed, trusted spaces (tight group chats, one-on-one texts, phone calls, therapy, your partner):
Be brutally honest. Say the thing you really feel.
If you don’t remember anything else, remember this:
If you’d be embarrassed reading that post aloud to your future program director in morning report, don’t post it.
How Honest Should You Be Before Match Day?
Pre-Match Day is actually where most people screw up, especially on X/IG.
Safe honesty: what’s fine to share
You can be honestly stressed, anxious, and tired. Things that are usually safe:
- “Feeling the pre-Match jitters. Grateful for my support system.”
- “So many what-ifs in my head right now. Hoping for a good fit and peace with whatever happens.”
- “This process is exhausting. Sending love to everyone in this with me.”
You’re admitting fear and anxiety, but you’re not:
- Trashing programs
- Talking about specific rank decisions
- Making categorical judgments (e.g., “I’d be devastated if I end up in X region or Y program type”).
| Category | Value |
|---|---|
| Neutral/Grateful | 70 |
| Anxious/Stress | 55 |
| Salty About Programs | 25 |
| Location/Program Trash Talk | 20 |
Honesty you should keep off public platforms
Things that should not hit public feeds:
- “If I don’t match at a top-10 I’m going to lose it.”
- “If I end up in [state/region], that’ll be a disaster.”
- “Honestly, I’d rather scramble than go to [XYZ program].”
- Specific commentary on program vibes: “That [Program] was so disorganized, attendings seemed lazy, residents miserable.”
I’ve seen PDs pull up applicant tweets in real time during rank meetings. Not to admire them. To ask, “Is this the energy we want?” People remember more than you think.
Once your rank list is in, you gain nothing by being publicly “too real” about your preferences.
Match Day: What To Actually Post (And What To Keep Quiet)
Match Day is emotional chaos. Some people are crying from joy, some from devastation, some from pure shock.
Here’s the rule:
Public posts are for announcements, gratitude, and community. Private channels are for the messy details.
If you matched where you’re happy (or happy enough)
You still need to be measured, because other people didn’t match or are heartbroken.
Totally fine:
- “Matched into Internal Medicine at [Program]! Excited to start this next chapter. Grateful to my family, friends, and mentors.”
- “So honored to be joining [Program] for Emergency Medicine. Couldn’t have done this without so many people in my corner.”
- “Match Day: complete. On to residency at [City].”
Reasonable honesty, limited detail. You don’t need to say “got my #1!” or “dream program since M1.” That lands like a gut punch to the person scrolling who didn’t match or barely scraped by.
Borderline or unhelpful:
- “Got my #1 and I can’t imagine going anywhere else!!”
- “So glad I don’t have to settle for a community program.”
- “Made it to my dream coastal program; couldn’t imagine staying in the Midwest.”
That may feel honest. It also implies other types of programs/regions are “less than” and alienates people—including your future colleagues.
If You’re Disappointed: How Honest Can You Be?
This is the gray zone you’re actually asking about.
You open your email.
You matched. But it’s not your top choice. Maybe not your top 5. Or it’s a city you really didn’t want. Or a program tier way below what you hoped for.
You’re allowed to feel:
- Sad
- Angry
- Embarrassed
- Confused
- Resentful
You’re not obligated to perform joy online.
Here are your options and how honest each one really is.
Option 1: The Neutral Public Post
This is the safest move for 90% of people.
Something like:
- “Matched into Pediatrics at [Program]. Grateful to everyone who helped me get here and excited to learn and grow.”
- “Proud to share that I matched into Psychiatry at [City]. Ready for the next chapter.”
Feels basic? Good. Basic is safe.
You don’t have to claim it was your #1. You don’t have to pretend it’s your dream. You just state the fact and some generic positive framing.
Your real feelings? Those go to:
- Close friends in 1:1 chats
- Group text with people you trust
- Your partner or family
- Mentor who can help you process
Option 2: Gentle Public Honesty (Use Sparingly)
There is a way to hint that Match was complicated without torching relationships.
Examples:
- “Match Day came with a lot of emotions. I’m grateful to have matched into [specialty] at [Program] and I’m looking forward to serving this community.”
- “Today was harder than I expected, but I’m thankful to be starting residency at [Program]. Growth happens in unexpected places.”
- “Mixed emotions today, but deep gratitude that I get to continue my training in [specialty].”
That’s honest: you’re not screaming “dream come true.” You’re acknowledging complexity.
What you’re not doing:
- “Not what I hoped for, but guess I’ll survive.”
- “Definitely not my top choice, but it is what it is.”
- “Didn’t match where I wanted, but stuck with [City] for now.”
Those phrases—“not what I wanted,” “stuck,” “settle”—are brutal for the people at that program and in that city to read. Including the residents who are about to be your seniors.
The Big No-Gos: Posts That Actually Hurt You
Here’s where I stop being gentle.
There are categories of honesty that are just dumb to put online. Full stop.
1. Trashing your matched program or location
Examples I’ve heard or seen:
- “Didn’t want to spend 3 years in [city], but here we go.”
- “Can’t believe I’m at a community program after all this work.”
- “Matched at [Program]. Not thrilled, but at least I matched.”
Your future co-residents, chiefs, and PD either will see this or will hear about it. People search your handle when you show up.
You might think, “I’ll delete it later.” Screenshots exist. Group chats exist.
2. Comparing yourself to others publicly
- “So jealous of everyone who matched to big-name places.”
- “Everyone else seems so happy; I feel like I failed.”
- “I guess I wasn’t good enough for my top choices.”
Honest? Yes. Helpful? Not really. Wrong audience. That pain belongs with close friends, not a 3,000-follower feed.
3. Humble-bragging or flexing “prestige”
- “Ecstatic to have matched at a top-10 program in [specialty].”
- “All the sacrifices were worth it to make it to a Tier 1 program.”
- “Feeling validated to have landed at such a competitive place.”
You will alienate your peers instantly. Also, many PDs quietly dislike “prestige-obsessed” vibes.
What About Being Honest After You Start Residency?
Once you start intern year, you’ll see Match posts from MS4s and roll your eyes at some of them.
Your rule doesn’t change much:
- Don’t publicly post that your program is terrible, malignant, or beneath you.
- Don’t subtweet co-residents, nurses, or attendings.
- Don’t write thread essays about how you “settled” for this place.
You can be honest about:
- Being tired
- Systems issues in medicine
- Burnout in a general way
- Wanting to improve training culture
Just keep details, names, and clear identifiers off the internet. Vent specifics in private.
Where To Put The Real, Unfiltered Feelings
You absolutely need a place where you can say:
- “I hate this outcome.”
- “I feel humiliated.”
- “I’m grieving the life I thought I’d have.”
Those are real, correct, human reactions.
Put them here:
- Group chat with 2–5 people you deeply trust
- Phone or FaceTime debrief with your closest friend
- Partner / sibling / roommate
- Therapist or counselor
- A mentor you’ve been honest with before
Don’t put them:
- In your story
- In a close friends list that includes random classmates
- On Twitter/X, even if your account is small
- On a “throwaway” that your classmates follow
“Close friends” lists leak. Group chats with 30+ people leak. If you wouldn’t say it to a room with your PD, don’t put it where screenshots happen.
| Step | Description |
|---|---|
| Step 1 | Have strong Match feelings |
| Step 2 | Post short filtered message |
| Step 3 | Do not post |
| Step 4 | Share honestly in DMs, calls |
| Step 5 | Limit details or skip |
| Step 6 | Public or Private? |
| Step 7 | Is it factual and kind? |
| Step 8 | Do you fully trust audience? |
Quick Posting Templates You Can Steal
If your brain is mush on Match Day, use templates. Don’t improvise a heartfelt essay.
Neutral / safe if you’re unsure how you feel
“Matched into [Specialty] at [Program Name]! Grateful for everyone who supported me along the way and excited to start residency.”
Balanced if you’re having mixed emotions
“Match Day came with a lot of feelings. I’m grateful to have matched into [Specialty] at [Program] and I’m looking forward to caring for patients in [City/Region].”
If you don’t want to post at all
You are allowed to say nothing that day.
You can come back later with:
“After taking some time offline to process Match Day, I’m ready to share that I matched into [Specialty] at [Program]. Thankful for the people who’ve supported me through this wild process.”
| Platform | Recommended Honesty Level | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Twitter/X | 3/10 | Generic, professional only |
| Instagram Feed | 3/10 | Announcement + gratitude |
| IG Close Friends | 5–6/10 | Still avoid trashing programs |
| TikTok | 2–3/10 | High risk of going viral |
| 2/10 | Keep it dry and professional | |
| Small group chat | 9–10/10 | Real feelings go here |
Key Reality Check: Programs And PDs Really Do See Your Posts
Some actual things I’ve heard in resident rooms and PD meetings:
- “Isn’t this the person who subtweeted us after interview day?”
- “She posted that she was ‘stuck here’ for residency. You see that?”
- “His Twitter is… intense. I’m not sure he’ll be happy anywhere.”
Is it fair? Not always. But it’s real. And you’re playing a long game here.
Your Match Day posts are often the first impression your future program has of how you respond to stress, disappointment, and success.
Show:
- Resilience
- Basic professionalism
- Perspective
Save:
- Anger
- Grief
- Regret
For the people who’ve actually earned access to your inner world.
| Category | Value |
|---|---|
| Private Chats | 45 |
| Phone Calls | 25 |
| Therapist/Mentor | 15 |
| Public Social Media | 15 |
FAQ: Honest Answers to Awkward Match + Social Media Questions
1. Is it okay to say I didn’t get my top choice?
Publicly? No. It reads as an insult to wherever you did match, and it makes your future colleagues feel like they were your consolation prize. Say that privately to your friends, not to the entire internet.
2. What if I truly hate where I matched? Do I have to post anything?
You don’t have to post at all. Silence is an option. If you feel pressured to share, do a short, neutral post: “Matched into [Specialty] at [Program]. Grateful to continue my training.” Then log off and go process offline with people you trust.
3. Can I joke about my match outcome with dark humor?
Dark humor that your trauma-bonded friends enjoy in group chats will absolutely not land the same on public social media. “Three years in [city]… guess I offended the Match gods” is funny in a private thread, not on Twitter where your seniors live.
4. I matched at a “less competitive” program. Can I say I’m disappointed with myself?
You can feel that. But posting it publicly does two things: 1) Insults your future program and co-residents. 2) Locks you into a shame story that you might not believe a year from now. Talk through that disappointment with a mentor or therapist instead.
5. Is it unprofessional to post that Match Day made me cry?
No. Saying “A lot of tears today—this process is intense” is honest and human. Keep it general, avoid naming programs or saying exactly why, and you’re fine. People know this day is brutal.
6. Can I post later that I grew to love a program I wasn’t excited about?
Yes—and that’s actually powerful. Something like, “I’ll be honest, this wasn’t my #1 on Match Day. But I can’t imagine having trained anywhere else now. Grateful for where I landed.” That kind of reflection after the fact doesn’t insult your program in the same way as real-time complaining.
7. Are PDs really checking my social media after Match?
Some do. Many residents do. People Google new interns. They look you up on Instagram or X. They absolutely see big public posts, especially if your name or handle is traceable. So yes—assume whatever you post is reviewable by your future workplace.
Bottom line:
- Public posts should be short, factual, and gracious—never a live feed of your raw emotions.
- The real, messy Match feelings belong in small, private, trusted spaces, not permanent public timelines.
- Your Match Day online footprint is part of your professional story—protect it, even when your emotions are loud.
